Part of me hates my english teacher in high school, everything in my life now has to have some sort of stupid meaning or relevance behind it. Back in school we were studying shawshank redemption, and for example, a scene in the jail grounds, there was a small amount of grass on the ground, apparently this meant that they were friends and everything was going to be okay. Whatever. Anyway over the last few days i’ve been in Belguim, I didn’t really plan it out that well, just saw my days off for the week and booked a ticket. That’s neither here nor there. I luckily stayed in Bruges, I say lucky because there, it is pretty much impossible to get lost, I managed too though.
After a while I grew used to having no idea what anyone was saying or having any idea of where I actualy was. I walked the streets for hours, just looking at things and stoping by something pretty to have a smoke. It made me think, like a lot of things tend to, well go into one of those daydreamy trance things.
I’ve spent the vast majority of the day watching memorial videos for youths that have passed on youtube. This triggered because last night I realised that in 12 days it will mark two years of me loosing someone that I was super close to. For hours I watched these photos of these kids, it was mesmerising. Its a weird feeling realising that I haven’t even been alive for 2 decades, yet I outlived so many others already. Read the rest of this entry »
A few years ago, back in school I studied ‘legal studies’ and with that came the study of what we call natural law. It’s what same anarchists preach, we don’t need a government with official laws because people are born with a natural moral code which stops them from doing bad.
I’ve always seen some heavily tattooed people complain about the stupid comments and questions they get about their art work, I never actually realised how annoying it could be. I am not heavily tattooed myself but I do have a few, so I’m not sure if that makes it less or more annoying.
On the weekend I was in the city and it felt like a million people came up and said “I like your back tattoo.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind getting compliments so I’d smile and say “thanks” (just so you know the tattoo says ‘Live for yourself & embrace today.) Some people would give me a hug or hi-5 or be on their way, one guy said it was ‘inspirational’ which was kind of sweet, but it seriously felt like half the million people would compliment it and then ask what it said. It started genuinely pissing me off, how can you like it if you don’t know what it says? It could’ve been anything from, ‘you’re a dick head’ to ‘twilight rules’ yet they still liked it, I don’t get it.
The fact no one can answer my questions about life bothers me, but it sets off a blaze inside me so to speak. All we do in life is chase dreams, we set a goal, some people reach this goal, and then what? Set another goal. Reach that one. I suppose that’s good right? But what does it prove? If there is nothing to achieve, we make something to achieve.
I don’t find the point in compromising what I want to be for anyone. It’s my life. People say in 50 years I’ll regret getting tattoos and my ear lobes will look ridiculous from stretching a hole in each, but why would I? Ladies in nursing homes grow beards, no people care? No! Even if they did, does it matter? No! Everyone gets so wrapped up in worrying what people think about them that they limit themselves so much, it makes me sad. I’ll look exactly like you will once you’re old, I’ll just be more interesting. I live for the moment; I do what I do, because I like what I do.
What makes someone waste their life? Better yet, how does someone waste their life? I can bet that in the eyes of someone you are wasting yourself. My opinion will vary from the next person, but to have a successful day all I have to do is be happy by the end of it. Does not matter what I accomplish, but if I’m smiling by the time I go to bed, my day has not been a waste. My life has no purpose or direction, and I am fine with that.